I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...