Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? reading posts on this website that arent antijokes. Seriously poeople... you cant just say something that random than put something tragic. it has to be funny and tragic.

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Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Matthew Baker

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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i black man walks in to a bar.he askes if he can make out with you? the man says"no. black man says"why? the guy says"because im not homersexal. black man says"oh. boss says"hey i told you dont talk to black people. guy says"no i can ekplan.boss says no more of buts or buy. boss says" you are fired guy says"NO! boss says"yup both of you get out! guys say no two guards come to talk them out. THE END`DONE!

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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