How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

ewrg

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than torture? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops