Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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