Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Chicken

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops