A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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