Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Lacrosse

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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Well, this is fun.

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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