Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

The

What's in there? Get outta there...

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

Knock Knock! Come in.

wat?

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

ASSCHEEKS

why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

P0P T4Rt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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