Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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9/11.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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mitt romney

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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