When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Rick Perry.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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