You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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A boy walks into a bar, then walked out. He's not 21!

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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