Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

10 Mexicans are in a car. Who is driving? 1 of the Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Japan

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops