Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Yo Momma So Fat!

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Nickelback

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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