Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind, How about you?

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

Seriosly. too much sex again?

Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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