What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

what is red and smells like paint red paint

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

Chlamydia

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

The Big Bang Theory (the show).

call me if you want xxx on 0407777235

Well this is pointless.....

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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