What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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Do the roar!

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops