Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops