NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops