My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

A black man provides has a normal day job and provides for his family while staying faithful to his wife.

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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