Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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your face

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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