A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Kevin and Ramin

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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