A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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1: I know a lot of people hate Mondays, but my least favorite day of the week is Thursday. 2: Can I ask why? 1: Of course you can. Everyone has free will.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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