Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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cchina is communist the USA isnt WHY?

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops