Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

When I became a WoMan, no, its a nice subject, I do not mind at all.

How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

Y' can't spell rape without ape.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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