Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops