Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops