Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the black person say to the white person I'm black your white

thumb_up thumb_down -22

do you know what was a good idea? not last night

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What funny about AIDS nothing its a terrible disease

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops