You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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I read the terms of service.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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João Duarte reads this.

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Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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