Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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A young baby died.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops