Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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HEY!

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Whats funny? Your face.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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