Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops