In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down -8

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops