how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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