EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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