A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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KILL WHITEY

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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No

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Tilt your screen back .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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