honest politician

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

A woman went outside for some fresh air.

pudding

Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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