Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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blubber vaginass CC

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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The Aristocrats

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A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops