A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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9/11

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what's the difference between a duck?

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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