my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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