how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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no

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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