What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

lewis=cardiac

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is funnier than 24 69

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops