How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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hi

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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learn. advance!

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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okay, there was a donkey and a parrot walking at the park. When it was raining the donkey says to parrot hey why is it so hot. Then a person riding bikes come to the parrot and she told her to sit down. Nobody saying hello but she can dance reallly nicely.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops