If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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