What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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