A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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Homo say what?

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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