You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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