What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops