whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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