How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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Hi my name is Bob

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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apple pie.

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

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CHEEZECAKE

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops