The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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