What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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