Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Justin Bieber

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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Your adopted

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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