What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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