Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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