A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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